How He Loves

The sermon at Grace was on Thomas today, but the Holy Spirit gave me a slightly different spin on some of the points. They hit home to me in a different way, I think.

A very brief summary of pastor’s notes and my own:

Thomas is commonly known as “doubting Thomas,” a definitely negative slant whenever his name is mentioned. But there was SO MUCH MORE to Thomas than his doubts.

Thomas (in the book of John) is mentioned 4 times: chapters 11, 14, 20 and 21. The first time demonstrates Thomas was a man of devotion. Jesus and his disciples had just left Bethany after the crowds tried to kill Jesus. Then in chapter 11, Lazarus had just died. Jesus said he would go back to Bethany to “wake Lazarus up” and devoted Thomas boldly declared that he would go with Him, even if it meant death. Thomas was the catalyst that convinced the other disciples to go. Obviously John thought it was important to mention him.

The second time is in John 14 where Thomas was the first disciple gutsy enough to admit he didn’t understand what Jesus was saying when He was talking about where he was “going to prepare a place for them.” This may perhaps be taking an interpretive liberty, but you get a sense that understanding was very important to Thomas, more than his own image.

The third time is the most famous instance: where Thomas says he won’t believe Jesus was alive unless he sees Him for himself. This isn’t a case of stubbornness or arrogance or weakness; Thomas was having a crisis of faith (as had the rest of the disciples before seeing Jesus). Thomas and the other disciples had had a certain understanding of who the Messiah was supposed to be and what He was supposed to do. Jesus spent his time with them preparing them to have a different vision, the true vision of God’s intents and purposes. But what He said and taught didn’t make sense until after the resurrection.

I feel for Thomas. I can identify with him in some ways; I sense the pain and defeat in his heart. His declaration of disbelief isn’t one of bitterness, stubbornness or arrogance. He is a broken man.

Someone else’s testimony couldn’t restore what Thomas had lost; his trust in Jesus was personal. He needed to see, he needed to touch, to experience. Jesus knew that and, out of His profound love for Thomas, pursued him. Christ returned a second time to the disciples specifically for Thomas. Thomas mattered to Him dearly.

If we think we are just cogs in the wheel of God’s kingdom, ever rolling forward, then we are mistaken. We’re not tools, not pawns, not purely vessels. He cares about each one of us individually. Our hearts matter to Him, our feelings, our trust—not to use us, but to fellowship with us. If we never did a thing for Him or His kingdom He would still pursue us relentlessly. He delights in us, He is passionate about each of us and desires relationship above all else.

“He is jealous for me.

He loves like a hurricane, I am a tree

Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize just how beautiful You are

And how great Your affections are for me.

Oh how He loves us so

Oh how He loves us

How He loves us so!

We are His portion

He is our prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes

If grace is an ocean

We’re all sinking

And Heaven meets Earth with an unforeseen kiss

My heart turns violently inside of my chest

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about

The way

He loves us

Oh how He loves us

Oh how He loves us

Oh how He loves us so!”

(“How He Loves,” David Crowder Band)

Think about it, soak it up.

Stop and listen for a while.

Stop and Listen

Post-grad is a scary phrase for many of us. The only ones who don't feel a little nervous twinge are those students who a) have had their goals and plans in mind since they were 4 years old (lucky), b) are sloths and don't care at all and whose parents made them go get an education, or c) are planning to go to grad school anyway, so they have no huge decisions to make yet.

The other group consists of students like me who have FINALLY figured out what they want to do but aren't sure about how to go about doing it. The

re are so many options out there it is overwhelming. And then the doubts come. Am I good enough? Did I learn enough, am I prepared? Where should I be looking? What if I fail? What if I can't find a job and have to--gasp!--move back in with my PARENTS??

And then there's that especially annoying little voice in your head that says you need to get your act together before you graduate and figure everything out so you don't WASTE TIME.

Hurry, hurry, hurry! Take another step, move forward! You'll never get anywhere if

you don't walk. God only gave you one life, you know. So, go, go, go!

Well, shut up, little voice. I'm sick of being stressed out because of you.

And the thing is, I'm not so stressed out anymore. God gave me a gentle shake yesterday when I came across a quote by Bethany Dillon about her album "Stop and Listen." It inspired the following:

I’m not called

To be anything

To do anything

To go anywhere

To say something

To know the next step

To better myself

To step out

To rise above

To accomplish

I am called to stop

And listen.

Wonderfully simplistic, and wonderfully true. So often we define our waking moments by "The Call" on our lives: Are we where God wants us to be? Are we doing what He's called us to do? Are we fulfilling our mission?

The truth is that God wants us to stop spinning around in circles and instead just sit at His feet. THIS is the real Call on our lives, every day. Just listen. Read His Word. Commune with Him. Fellowship with His Holy Spirit. And the physical result of this is that "The Call" will fall into place. We will hear what He needs us to hear, be where He wants us to be, do what He wants us to do.

Just stop, and listen.