My life as...a puzzle box

I've come to a conclusion: life is challenging. You might be saying, "well, duh!" but I guarantee you will grasp this actually profound statement in new ways in the next few months. At least I have and I'm sure I will continue to. That's just how things go.

When you're under 11 being a grown-up sounds boring. I mean, they don't DO anything fun--just boring things like having a job or sitting around gabbing with other grown-ups over that disgusting drink called coffee.

When you're 12-15 you have this rosy-colored ideal of what being a grown-up is like: independence, accomplishment, looking fabulous all the time, having your own apartment without siblings bothering you, etc. You know, the stuff you see in the movies.

From 16-18 you have this creeping sense of concern, this hint of foreboding, that your glamorous ideals may be a little too high. But, still, you are hopeful. Stubbornly hopeful.

Around 19 you are ready to fly the nest for real (or have friends who already have, and thus are reliable sources of information) and you realize that there are some pretty icky parts to being an adult--like the occasional bill and keeping yourself fed and clothed.

Then when you actually try it for yourself....WOAH reality check! No, bills are not occasional; they are ever-present. Food is expensive. So are clothes. So is gas. It turns out your mother was right and sleep really is important. Your job dictates your schedule, life, your every breath. There are times you will have to choose between friends and homework and sleep (and, for the sake of your own sanity, it is actually ok to let friends win sometimes). You face huge, life-altering decisions more frequently than you ever thought you would. You are alone, you are surrounded by people. You wonder if you really are applying yourself to what you are studying in college. You wonder who you are becoming. You wonder if you are prepared for the life ahead. You wonder if you will have a place to live next semester. You wonder if people notice you wear the same shirts on a rotation because you can't afford a few new ones. You wonder why you ever felt like the whole "trust God for your daily bread" thing sounded adventurous. You wonder if you will fail and (gasp!) actually have to move back in with your parents.

Welcome to my present life! Ups and downs, blessings and bummers, good times and challenges, accomplishments and failures. I love being an adult and responsible for myself; I hate being an adult and responsible for myself. I love making all the decisions for myself and I hate that tight feeling in my chest when I realize how life-changing each one can potentially be.

But God is good, and that's the bottom line. I may mess up, but He can turn anything around for the good if I let Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," He says, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). And while this particular promise was spoken to the Israelites whom He was calling back to repentance once again in the Old Testament, His purpose is still the same. He is the God of life, of restoration, of relationship. He does have specific plans for me and for you, too. And no matter how much life may stink sometimes, I have to remember that I can't see the big picture like He can. I can only take one itty bitty step at a time and trust that He is moving me in the direction I need to go. I have only to focus on being faithful TODAY and tomorrow will take care of itself.

One piece at a time...one section at a time...

I heart coffee...and filmmaking

I love my job. Seriously. So much so that I keep asking myself, So...why am I in school again? But I'm only half serious when I ask that question.

I've never ever in my whole life been excited about going to work--until now. Even a 5:30 a.m. shift time (which means my alarm goes off at 4:50 a.m.) doesn't kill my enthusiasm! Sometimes it smothers it a little, but once I walk through the glass doors and smell the rich, chocolatey scent of espresso I perk right up again.

I've discovered my current favorite drink: a 2-pump toffee crunch latte in our gloriously wide-mouthed "for here" mugs (as opposed to a cup with a lid) so you can see the pretty toppings. It's food for both body and soul.

Coffee shops have become my happy place as I've gotten older. I loved going to the Great Lakes Coffee and Chocolate Company in Sturgis, to hang out with friends or to study when I was doing classes online. Or to Only By Grace coffee shop in Shipshewana. Or the Electric Brew in Goshen. I love the cozy atmosphere of the little, one-of-a-kind shops with the fluffy couches and mismatched furniture. Cafe Moka is a little classier than that, but the atmosphere is still there.

I did not make this beautiful drink, buy maybe someday...
I can, however, make gorgeous foam to top lattes. :-)


This is my friend Ashley making me a micro-brewed cup of Ethiopian coffee--the best EVER! Who knew coffee itself could have a hint of cocoa and berry flavor?

I've had a crazy several weeks. Meetings, student film shoots, work, chiropractor appointments, etc. I've overcommitted this semester, but as a good friend told me last semester, "you'll do it once and then you'll never do it again!" I've often been on the go literally from the moment I hop out of bed in the morning until my head hits the pillow again at night. I'm behind in some of my homework, but surviving. Everything that HAS to be done is done so far, I still have some gas and food money (hallelujah! the chiropractor has not bled me dry just yet!) and I'm still sane.

I can't tell you how I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving break! I'm going to some close friends' house for dinner and I fully intend to shove homework completely from my mind and just relax. Hopefully I'll also be picking up a few extra hours at work over the holidays when a couple of the girls go home. I could sure use the money.

I guess this has been more of a so-this-is-what-Rachel-is-up-to post rather than a so-this-is-what's-been-on-my-mind post, but I hope you find it interesting anyway. Thanks for reading :-)

Countdown to midnight

Spring semester registration opens in...16 minutes. Then, for CTV students, the fighting begins. (just kidding, it's quite not that serious). For those of us who are closer to the end of our undergrad journey it's all the more important to make sure you get into the classes you need!

I'm feeling drained in every way possible. I have been or soon will have been on 5 film shoots in 3 weeks, I'm producing and editing my own project as well as doing production design for mine and one other project. I'm doing craft services this Saturday for a classmate's film. I naively signed up to host a prospective student overnight next week and I'm seriously thinking of trying to get out of it! I haven't had more than 6 hours of sleep at night in a week--sometimes no more than 5. And I won't be able to sleep in for quite a few days yet.

On a more positive note, I'm on a sugar fast which is probably the only reason I haven't gotten sick. But the blueberry muffins and scones at work are sure looking good by now!

So...5 minutes until registration opens. I feel like a zombie, so I'm sorry if this post isn't very interesting. 4 minutes left...

I think I'm going to go ahead and open the page and get ready to select my classes for this spring.