Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Countdown to midnight
I'm feeling drained in every way possible. I have been or soon will have been on 5 film shoots in 3 weeks, I'm producing and editing my own project as well as doing production design for mine and one other project. I'm doing craft services this Saturday for a classmate's film. I naively signed up to host a prospective student overnight next week and I'm seriously thinking of trying to get out of it! I haven't had more than 6 hours of sleep at night in a week--sometimes no more than 5. And I won't be able to sleep in for quite a few days yet.
On a more positive note, I'm on a sugar fast which is probably the only reason I haven't gotten sick. But the blueberry muffins and scones at work are sure looking good by now!
So...5 minutes until registration opens. I feel like a zombie, so I'm sorry if this post isn't very interesting. 4 minutes left...
I think I'm going to go ahead and open the page and get ready to select my classes for this spring.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Bring on the rain boots!

Rain boots. Gotta love 'em!
Rainy days like this are either wonderful or horrible, depending on whether you have class or not, or whether you own rain boots or not, or whether you are already sleepy or not. I do not have class today, I own a cute pair of rain boots, and I got sufficient sleep last night so I'm good to go. The only downside of rainy days is my hair does unimaginable things over which I have absolutely no control. I should buy a hat.
I feel accomplished! I have two out of five locations officially nailed down for my student project film shoot at the end of October, and another two out of the five in process. Just one more to go! I have my main cast selected (but still looking for extras) and my crew is good to go. Now I have a list of props/set dressing items I need to find within the next three and a half weeks, I have to design some book covers, magazine covers, and probably a poster or two, I need to work with my director on storyboards and music, and I need to budget for food for everyone who's going to be on set. (That's the not-so-fun part of this stuff; it requires money--and usually your own.)
Since today is Monday, tonight is "family dinner night" (lol) and it's my turn to cook. Some close friends and I take turns cooking on Monday nights so that a certain one of us who apparently "can't" cook actually eats a decent meal at least once a week. I will not mention names, but you know who you are. I'm making my mom's BBQ meatballs and mashed potatoes. Hopefully they will be a hit.
I could use a nap. Rainy days do that to me. But I'll have to go with coffee for the present because I have too much to do. Sigh...
Monday, September 20, 2010
Throwing away the box
(Image: "Outside the Box" (c) by James C. Christensen)Boxes have been on my mind for some time now. God and boxes. Christianity and boxes. My life and boxes. Boxes regarding my mind and the way I perceive things.
I'm discoving that everyone likes boxes whether they realize it or not--especially we Westerners. We like logic, we like things to be neat and tidy and for everything to make sense; we like to be able to look at things from all angles, examine things, and when we are finished with our assessment we put whatever it is we were looking at back into it's neat little box. We like to have things figured out. Now there is nothing inherently wrong with this in most cases (in fact--no pun intended--logic is a very, very GOOD and godly thing!), but sometimes our obsession with boxes hinders our pursuit of truth rather than helps it.
I think boxes are often a subconscious thing. We think certain ways because we were raised a certain way or because we never really took the time to examine our beliefs and just shoved them into the nearest box we could find. "Who cares how well they fit," we say, "At least they are in a box. I'll look at them later." Tsk, tsk, tsk! If something is in a box, we should know exactly what it is, what it's there for, and how it all works together. The thing should fit its box well. If it doesn't, we might need to look for a different sized box or perhaps one of a different shape. Or perhaps we need to sort through the contents again in case there is something there that doesn't belong in that particular box. This process is called thinking, and all of us should be doing it.
However, sometimes there is a problem with the box system: we like to tightly control it. Sometimes we shove things into boxes that were never meant to fit. Sometimes we assign boxes to things that were never meant to have one. Sometimes when we can't find a "correct" box for something, we make one up. Bring on the glue and duct tape!
(Hopefully all this rambling with make sense in a minute.)
I have spent many hours and many late nights in deep conversation with a good friend of mine. ("Deep" meaning non-cotton-candy topics like government, politics, guns, God, discipleship, the church then and now, our generation, the Holy Spirit, etc. Good stuff!) We agree on practically everything, which is nice. But we are both quite aware of how many people disagree on hard topics like these--especially within the church itself. In fact, it's one of the most perplexing things I know of.
How can people who claim to be following the same God see things so differently? (Even while looking at the same Scriptures, I might add.) I see this way, you see that way. So the contents of our respective boxes that we've labeled "Christianity" or "God" must be different. Wow, you're box is rather empty. Well, yours is stuffed to overflowing, and that's not right! Am I missing pieces or are you? Wait--what's THAT thing doing in there? No, I like this piece; it must stay in this box. Why is your box brown while mine is white? If it's the same thing, it should be the same color!
Or in other, more common terms: God is this way, not that way. Well, I was taught growing up that God works like this, not like that. God doesn't like it when you wear that; THIS is godly attire. This is the kind of music we're going to have in Heaven. Don't listen to that other stuff. Abstain, abstain, abstain! God wants us to live this way, not that way. God couldn't possibly like that you're hanging out with THOSE people.
These are all things in each of our "God and Christianity" box. Our "God" box directly and necessarily affects all the other boxes in our lives. All the "do or don't" issues we ALL at some point have to address say more about our concept and understanding of God than about ourselves or the world in which we live.
I guess the ultimate question I'm asking myself is, where do I get my boxes? Where do my preconceptions of God come from? Do I run Him through a filter I've created? Do I take things about Him that don't fit our my own "God" box and try to change it to make it fit, or throw it out (!) all together. If so, that's dangerous, dangerous, dangerous! Because then I move into the realm of self-deceit.
Do we, as professing Christians, really know God for Who He is as revealed in His Word, or do we somehow just see Him as who we want Him to be? What happens when God shows Himself to be different than we wanted or expected?
The bottom line is, I think we in our natural selves tend to try to put God in the box of our own understanding, preconceptions and assumptions. If something in Scripture is hard for us to wrap our minds around we either morph that verse, that phrase, that principle into something we can more easily understand and into something that fits our established worldview or theology or we find a way to slide around it, discredit it, or...anything else we can do to make it not say what it does.
But in the end, we only cheat ourselves.
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I sit in a room of boxes, boxes stacked and piled all around me. And in my arms I hold the ultimate box: the God Box, which also dictates the contents of all the other boxes in the room. I like the God Box; I'm pretty comfortable with it and know all of its contents perfectly. I know how they work and how they fit together, what color they are and what they are made of.
But God stands before me with another box, one that I don't recognize. I didn't bring it in here and I'm not sure I want it in here; it might mess up my system! But He just smiles and holds it out to me and says, "Hey daughter, take a look at this. I want to show you the contents and how it all works." But I want my own box. I don't like His box...I'm not sure what's in there. What if I don't like what I find? My box is safe; I put the contents in there myself. And it all fits together nicely, thank you. Well, mostly...
But He insists, "Dearie, you have quite a complicated mess in that box of yours. I see pieces missing or out of order. And you have some baggage in there you really don't need and that I never gave to you. Why don't we get rid of your box and use Mine?"Tentatively, I reach out and take the box. I'm surprised because it is very light, so much lighter than mine! We both plop down on the floor and open it together.
Peering inside His box, I am suddenly speechless. Whatever was inside my old box looked like a jumbled, ugly mess compared with this work of art. It's fascinating, it's beautiful, it's HIM. I suddenly feel like a fool. I don't even want to look at my own box anymore; I see now that its contents didn't even remotely resemble the Father sitting beside me.
We go over it, piece by piece. I am delighted, humbled, amazed, dazzled. When we finish, He suddenly hands me another box. "Now how about this one?" He says, smiling, "I think you're ready for an upgrade!"
The contents of the new box are similar to the first, but better, deeper, more elaborate, more beautiful. "And when we're done with this one, I'll give you another!" He says. "Each box will show you a little more than the one before."
"How many are there?" I ask.
"I am endless," He replies.
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The bottom line of this story and this entire post is: I don't want my box system anymore. I want His. A passage that has somehow developed into my personal theme for this point in my life is Romans 12. Paul urges his readers to present themselves to God as living sacrifices as an act of worship. And, he writes, instead of being just like the world, you must "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" which enables you to know the will (read: mind, heart, character, purpose, intention) of God. How is our mind renewed? By being washed in the Word, the Truth, through the power of the Holy Spirt. Incredible stuff! It's powerful, life-changing, HEART-changing. This is why the basic spiritual disciplines are so important; they are step one on an amazing adventure into the heart and mind of Almighty God, for those who are humble enough to leave behind their own assumptions of Who God is and let Him speak for Himself.
This is a huge topic that can be taken in so many different directions, but I've tried to be brief and summarize the thoughts that have been rolling around between my ears for some time. I'm not the best at turning my thoughts into words, so I hope you won't judge me too quickly and give me a few posts to flesh out these concepts a little more thoroughly.
But in the meantime, take a deep breath and try something scary: throw away your homemade box. Let God give you His. See what you discover of Him.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Drizzly Sunday...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Artistry
(Exodus 31;1-3, 6)
Some of you may be wondering what my film classes are like here at Regent. So, today I'm posting some excerpts from a class syllabus because this professor I think has summed up our vision well. (The bold font below is from the syllabus.)
"One of the great hinderances to the development of biblically informed mainstream art (particularly music, literature, and film) has been the preception that Christians should make Christian art and that "Christian art" is always explicitly religious. Understood this way, "Christian art" is not distinguished b a regenerated outlook on the whole of life but by a narrow focus on Bible stories, saints, martyrs, and the individual's relationship with God. Consequently, "Christian art" is usually seen as either an aid in worship or means for evangelism.
"Is it any wonder a Christian understanding remains largely absent both in commercial art and on the experimental fringes? It's rare to find Christians directing in Hollywood, producing serious fiction, or writing plays for London's West End or Nw York's own Broadway. It's even rarer to find them in the alternative arts venues, such as comedy clubs, and contemporary dance theaters. The average person, today, in tune with culture, would be hard-pressed to name a single contemporary animator, screenwriter, dramatist, choreographer, novelist, comedian or painter of faith, even though Christianity remains the dominant religion in both Europe and the Americas.
"The aim of this course is to explore the reasons why things are this way in the hopes that, through understanding, changes may take place and that Christians who are artists will feel valued, encouraged, inspired, and emboldened to take their place within the dominant culture. This, as all courses in the College of Communcation and the Arts, is ultimately concerned with how the committed Christian can blend his/her faith with what they learn here. Especially of concern is how the issues raised by this course are to be considered in comparison to your own a priori worldview. You will be urged to consider all readings, lectures and discussions in light of your own Christian faith."
"DEPARTMENTAL (CINEMA-TELEVISION) PROGRAM OUTCOMES:
--"To reclaim the power of "Story" and to weave Christian values and enduring truths in infinitely fresh and relevant ways.
--"To allow students to explore and refine their craft through observation, intense study and practice.
--"To grow artists who can create media infused with Light to those with eyes to see and ears to hear.
"COUSE (THE CHRISTIAN ROLE IN THE ARTS TODAY) OUTCOMES:
--"Appreciate the manner in which art "blesses" us in ways that are hard to quantify; enjoyment of God, wonder, transcendence.
--"Discern the appropriateness, effectiveness, and ethical dimensions of biblically informed mainstream art and to be able to distinguish between illusion and deceit instead of the simplistic "Christian vs. Secular" explanations of art in the world.
--"Identify various methodologies and themes in art, such as metaphor-making, myth and fantasy, illusion, as well as proper uses of enchantment that help up cope with he complexities of life and also illuminate our faith.
--"Understand and better articulate their own unique sense of calling as imbedded artists within the culture.
--"Express a growing aesthetic appreciation for the language and forms of Art: Music, Poetry, Drama, Literary fiction, Dance, Painting, Film, Animation, Sculpture, etc. Main emphasis will be upon primary venues in which artists who are Christian tend to work (music, film, and prose fiction).
--"Trace the origins and development of art within and without the Church, track its historical evolution (iconophiles to iconoclasts), as well as its more contemporary manifestations."
Filmmakers are storytellers. In fact, Jesus was also a storyteller, and He spoke in parables for a reason. Humans love narrative; it's in the very fabric of our beings. He created us that way. Stories transcend cultures, time, and even language. It, like all forms of art, has an innate power to reach the human heart as well as the mind.
The primary goal of any artist--whether dancers, painters, filmmakers, musicians, etc.--is to create excellent art for God's glory. We are storytellers, we are communicators, and we are artists. Our role is not to preach, but rather to express; thus, in many instances we can reach areas a sermon never can. Our delight is to make GOOD ART, although it may not necessarily be easy art in that it may not be easily understood or "accessible" to the masses--but then again, the masses are not our calling. Artistry is our calling and our mission field is those who take the time, effort, and discipline to understand and connect with the medium of art.
Art can, and the best art often is, difficult. Difficulty is not bad; in fact, as Christians, we should be able to create the most difficult art of all because we have the opportunity to see things from God's perspective and gain a broader, truer, deeper understanding of life, the issues we face, the things we feel.
We make art that is redemptive.
We make art that challenges ourselves and others in our thinking.
We make art that is honest, whether or not it is beautiful.
We make art that resonates with the deepest desires of the human heart.
We make art that inspires, that hurts, that whispers, that shouts, that glories in beauty, that braves ugliness, that imagines, that is real.
We make art because we, as human beings, are created to image the Great Artist in this broken world.
We are storytellers, pointing to the Author of the great narrative that encompasses all of us.
That is our calling.
We are storytellers, we are artists.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Live, laugh, love
I'm taking four courses currently (as of Monday the 8th of March): film history, film aesthetics, spanish, and Biblical background and interpretation. The latter two are 8-week, the first two are 16-week. In both of the film classes we have ginormous group projects looming over our heads that, frankly, have me terrified. As a class, we are collaborating on creating a real documentary about the history of film, from it's earliest beginnings in the late 1800s to the present. Each subgroup has an short era to cover; my group is covering early French filmmakers the Lumiere brothers and Georges Melies: their contribution to the art of cinema and also a critical examination of Melies' short films. Our dean is trying to get Regent University its own channel on www.hulu.com, where the school can feature the completed documentary when it is finished (which will take a while; there is too much cinema history for one class to cover sufficiently, so future Film History and Film Aesthetics students under Prof. Keuthan will be finishing it in the next couple of years probably) as well as other selected student projects. My prof even briefly mentioned submitting the documentary to student film festivals. Needless to say, expectations are high and I feel very inexperienced and unprepared!
My time at Regent so far has been extremely challenging and even a little unsettling, in both good and bad ways. I'm having to reevaluate myself again and again and lately have been wrestling with difficult questions about life and the future, where I'm at and where I am going. I've become aware of the sheer number of decisions I'm going to have to make in the very near future about the summer, next year, and even the year after that and I feel like so many things are up in the air right now. Learning to trust God while I'm praying for wisdom and examining options has been harder than I thought it would be, but it's been good. He's been walking with me every step of the way, but I'm still trying to hear exactly what He is saying.
Today marks the second to last day of spring break for us students. (It's kind of the last day for me because I work all day tomorrow). So, I made cinnamon rolls just a few minutes ago and am going to go be neighborly and "go visitin'" in a few minutes :-)
Most students went home for spring break, but those of us who stayed had a great time! I went with some of my closer friends to Williamsburg last Tuesday, and Thursday we had a LATE game and movie night. We were up until 3 in the morning, but hey, it's spring break.
Here are a few photos of the past month or so: (not in chronological order!)
Williamsburg:
Lauren (lives across the hall from me) holding British flag:

Me examining a broom for sale in the gift shop:

Lauren and me in the stocks:
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Week three in progress



L t0 R: Jason?, Jesiah, me, Brian, Nicole, Dan, Jonathan, Zach, can't-remember-his-name, Danielle, Rebecca, Christian.
--Attending the Harvest college group Bible study. I love being surrounded by other people who are passionate about the Lord and who are intentional about making Him the heart of all they do.



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