I've come to a conclusion: life is challenging. You might be saying, "well, duh!" but I guarantee you will grasp this actually profound statement in new ways in the next few months. At least I have and I'm sure I will continue to. That's just how things go.
When you're under 11 being a grown-up sounds boring. I mean, they don't DO anything fun--just boring things like having a job or sitting around gabbing with other grown-ups over that disgusting drink called coffee.
When you're 12-15 you have this rosy-colored ideal of what being a grown-up is like: independence, accomplishment, looking fabulous all the time, having your own apartment without siblings bothering you, etc. You know, the stuff you see in the movies.
From 16-18 you have this creeping sense of concern, this hint of foreboding, that your glamorous ideals may be a little too high. But, still, you are hopeful. Stubbornly hopeful.
Around 19 you are ready to fly the nest for real (or have friends who already have, and thus are reliable sources of information) and you realize that there are some pretty icky parts to being an adult--like the occasional bill and keeping yourself fed and clothed.
Then when you actually try it for yourself....WOAH reality check! No, bills are not occasional; they are ever-present. Food is expensive. So are clothes. So is gas. It turns out your mother was right and sleep really is important. Your job dictates your schedule, life, your every breath. There are times you will have to choose between friends and homework and sleep (and, for the sake of your own sanity, it is actually ok to let friends win sometimes). You face huge, life-altering decisions more frequently than you ever thought you would. You are alone, you are surrounded by people. You wonder if you really are applying yourself to what you are studying in college. You wonder who you are becoming. You wonder if you are prepared for the life ahead. You wonder if you will have a place to live next semester. You wonder if people notice you wear the same shirts on a rotation because you can't afford a few new ones. You wonder why you ever felt like the whole "trust God for your daily bread" thing sounded adventurous. You wonder if you will fail and (gasp!) actually have to move back in with your parents.
Welcome to my present life! Ups and downs, blessings and bummers, good times and challenges, accomplishments and failures. I love being an adult and responsible for myself; I hate being an adult and responsible for myself. I love making all the decisions for myself and I hate that tight feeling in my chest when I realize how life-changing each one can potentially be.
But God is good, and that's the bottom line. I may mess up, but He can turn anything around for the good if I let Him.
"For I know the plans I have for you," He says, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). And while this particular promise was spoken to the Israelites whom He was calling back to repentance once again in the Old Testament, His purpose is still the same. He is the God of life, of restoration, of relationship. He does have specific plans for me and for you, too. And no matter how much life may stink sometimes, I have to remember that I can't see the big picture like He can. I can only take one itty bitty step at a time and trust that He is moving me in the direction I need to go. I have only to focus on being faithful TODAY and tomorrow will take care of itself.
One piece at a time...one section at a time...
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